I really need to post more. Like. Seriously.

Surprise!

It's a post that doesn't contain a contest entry!

!!!

Unfortunately, I don't have much to say. The boyfriend started his own blog a while ago, and it's making me feel pressured. Like "Hey, I've got a giant glass butt sword on my blog now. What's going on with yours? Judged anything lately?"

Har. Har.

There's definitely an offsite review coming up on the blog though, for the Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate. I was super excited to get it, but I'm still dorking around, unwilling to commit to a review because I don't want my first offsite review to suck. Is that weird?

And then I still need to review the Couture Compagnia by CalExotics. Do you have any idea how hard it is to sneak a giant black silicone dildo into a corridor bathroom shared by approximately 24 women? REALLY HARD.

"Hey, what are you washing there?"

"A giant black silicone double dildo."

"Oh. OK."

That's NOT how the conversation went.

This is how it went.

"..."

* furtive look *

"..."

Never mind the fact that I feel kind of guilty for even requesting the double dildo because HELLO. I don't have a girlfriend. Or a gal pal who's up for lending me an extra vagina for a weekend afternoon. But then I remember that the boyfriend's always wanted to try using a double dildo with me. Maybe I can shove it into a harness and try using it that way. But in order for any of that to happen, we have to be in the same zip code.

Dear Long Distance, you are KILLING MY REVIEW.

Hopefully I'll be able to find a new place soon, where I can actually get a decent bit of privacy. Private bathroom? I'm there!